


let go

by clayisforgirls



Category: Tennis RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 17:03:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4357295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clayisforgirls/pseuds/clayisforgirls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything in the box was just a tiny piece of that, a reminder of the perfect relationship they'd shared, kisses and blowjobs and fantastic fucks. Best friends with benefits, but he'd always been more to Andy, each smile brighter when he was around him.</p><p> </p><p>Originally posted in July 2006.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let go

Andy's not really sure what brought him up here, other than a half hearted comment of being stuck in the past, a tiny, throwaway comment but it had driven him insane for three days until he'd snapped, taken off in a fit of insanity, and that's something he hasn't done for a long time. Longer than he cares to remember.

But it doesn't explain why he's up here. Not at almost midnight, when as a tennis player he should have been sleeping, should have had more sense than to walk to he top of the cliff near his house in a t-shirt and boxers, shoes forgotten in his moments of madness. Or insanity, he prefers that word, makes it seem like he's quirky, rather than unfixable. Which he probably is, he's always been like this, but that's not the point.

He'd grabbed a box before he'd left, one full of semi-old photographs, polaroids curling at the corners, hastily scrawled notes, letters on worn paper from being read so many times, even a half finished school project from when they'd lived together.

And he'd known it wouldn't last forever, but he'd hoped, a foolish hope, but he'd always had it. Everything in the box was just a tiny piece of that, a reminder of the perfect relationship they'd shared, kisses and blowjobs and fantastic fucks. Best friends with benefits, but he'd always been more to Andy, each smile brighter when he was around him.

Paper taken from the box, quick glance and he remembers this, had laughed when Mardy had given it to him but there's no smiles now as he tears the letter in half and then half again, not stopping until it's in pieces so small he wouldn't be able to fix it if he tried. It's satisfying in a way he hadn't expected, the tearing of paper, the rustle as it flutters in the breeze.

Photographs go the same way, torn into pieces before tossed into the lake below, until the box sits in front of him, empty, and he pulls his legs underneath him, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes as he rips the label from the lid, the one he'd scrawled 'Mardy' on as he'd stashed it beneath his bed so his mother wouldn't find it.

Time has no meaning here, not really, doesn't know how long it is before there are footsteps behind him and he'd be almost worried if they weren't familiar now. He turns slightly, meets Roger's worried gaze with a sheepish grin, an apology on his lips but it's Roger who acts first, kissing him softly, wrapping an arm around his waist as he sinks onto the ground.

"I was worried," and there's another kiss, harder than last time, a hint of warning not to disappear without a word and Andy takes it, leans into it, Roger warmth the best warmth of all as he feels a shiver run through him. "What were you doing up here?"

He's stunned, doesn't know how to reply, the truth too hard to tell Roger, doesn't trust him enough to know his secret, not yet, but he doesn't want to lie, it always ends up with him in trouble and he doesn't want that, he's happy right here.

"Focussing on the now," he settles on, voice quiet, not looking at Roger. It's cryptic, knows it will drive Roger insane but it's the best he can do right now without giving it all away.

For a moment he thinks Roger's going to say something back, going to argue a little just to probe him for an explanation but he's relieved when he doesn't, just kisses Andy again, back to the soft, barely there touches that always have him wanting more. A hand runs along his stubble-covered jaw, nuzzling against it as he pulls away.

"You ready to come home?"

There's a pause, one hand wrapped in Roger's, the other grasping worn cardboard as hard as he physically can.

"You bring the car?"

"Of course. I'm not as stupid as you," and he lets the comment slide when he finds Roger grinning, lets himself be pulled to his feet, smiling as he leans in for another kiss, pressing against the Swiss as they walk together down the tiny path of brown, worn into the perfect green of the grass.

Roger smirks at him as he gets pinned to the car door, kisses him, nibbling on his bottom lip and Andy whimpers, just slightly, and for the first time in years, he really feels free.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "Let Go" by Frou Frou.


End file.
